Isn't this what poetry is all about?

lived experiences:
blah blah blah
and She rises to
leave (annoyed);
I wanted to
speak to her after
(heartbroken).

Better than rejection
at least, or is it
worth the shot?
{Depends (diaper)
on what you want,
what you expect:
if you expect rejection
you won't be upset,
if you don't want sex,
or at least appear so,
you won't be rejected:
the secret.}
Or, the possibility
alone of finding
chemistry: speak to
everyone!

Do we get along with more members of the opposite sex than we don't get along with?: perhaps we can never know because we only associate with those we get along with, but I would say that initial encounters, which are the most important, primarily based on looks and male questions, either repel or attract: it depends on your looks and your skill at the art, but nevertheless I would think it also depends on who you choose to meet, random girls at clubs or friends of friends, for the latter is more prone to try to get along while the former is more selective and prone to repel, which most of them do for the sheer enjoyment of the act. Outside the classroom depends on what you have said in the class, looks, aura-for more intelligent women look for a glow, and most are willing to conversate although the lack of wit and/or intelligence would immediately or in due course instigate rejection: if you're good they want you, that is, if you don't want them or appear to not want them: indifference is the key to attraction, persuasion, intimidation, although at the same time you must appear honest: the trick is in the Augenblick(glance of the eye): if you keep eye contact too often or for too long you appear desperate, helpless, honest and needy, but for too short you appear dishonest, sneaky, a trickster, deceptive: a balance must be found.
But the best way to persuade, seduce, intimidate, after indifference, which must be your style and aura at all times, although you must have gone through apathy and come out positive (as opposed to negative) and motivated, is to offer beneficience and affirmation: these concepts I believe are self explanatory and as such I will leave them as they are: want a drink? you look beautiful this evening...

Poem - Reality

As the music plays - in the background,
not really listening: what does really
really mean? Recreation
again, half-
thoughts, questions: no will to attempt
an answer. It would evade me,
asymptotically:
I would think it were flawless only to
annihilate it.
Ok, so, as opposed to appearance or
semblance: a Ding-an-sich, contingency,
the truth having followed a joke lie,
which is what it really is: what it is
opposed to.
There is no really, only belief
that there is an ultimate reality
to existence: and when we
think something is really the case
we are easily shown or proven otherwise:
the belief is a mirage in the abyss,
and we are thirsty only to throw
sand into our faces.
A joke lie
played on humanity by the non-God
of truth.
Really can question the
validity of another's statement,
demanding affirmation, which shouldn't
persuade
one into hence believing the said,
but does, although responding
sarcastically -
no not really - should do the trick.
To believe is to escape the Nihilism
that spurs on the pessimism that
ruins our lives:
one reason alone:
not to believe is still to believe,
in that there is no reality:
necessary illusions,
But we (really) cannot escape after
knowing this - we will always doubt
our belief or never fully believe
because we know that what seems to be
the truth, reality, could very well
be a lie, appearance.

Am I in control of myself?
Or does something possess me?
I'd like to claim
that life itself possesses us,
that we can only escape it in death.
Our desire to possess objects and others
stems from our desire to release ourself
from our being possessed by life.
But perhaps there is no me to be possessed.
Then who is this? Perhaps others.
Then they must be others and everyone
must be others: there must be A self,
at least, for anyone to be others.
Or everyone must be no one...

Imagination gone Broke
cos inspiration left
home, starving and
scantily clad; irony
stole everything we
had, and I need
inspiration's help
to do something about
irony - its a
vicious circle
and I'm trapped.
But when or if
I ever finish irony
I'd lose thought, right?

Want life

everyone wants everything, especially what they can't have, other than the one simple thing, that would heal all ills if only they wanted it. But don't we have life already? so why want it? You never have life, life has you. And you can never have it like you have a watch, because as soon as you begin to appreciate it it takes itself away from you: it never belongs to you because it will leave you even though you may not want it to: some may say you can have control of life (fate) by wanting to disown it, by not wanting it anymore, but unlike a human other this indifference and disdain will not attract it to you or make you powerful over it, for it will just get offended and make you depressed and miserable: we always want to overcome what oppresses us, what we cannot control, especially what makes us suffer, but rejecting it will not overcome it. Want life and it will treat you well.

Honesty

Honesty is the best policy:
Only if there is a chance
that you will be found out.
It's really best to tell them
what they want to hear:
they'll say they want to hear
the truth, but what is
the truth anyway: an illusion,
in its attempting to attain
a reality that is not there,
an interpretation, a belief.
Then is not even honesty
a lie? Honesty still requires
the others trust in the reality
of the ones belief: even honesty
is not believed to be honesty:
the other may believe that you
are lying when you are telling
the truth, and this doubt increases
if you lie and are found out:

honesty is essential to trust
but people prefer to hear what
they want to hear: so don't lie
if there's a significant chance
that you will be found out.

Tell them what will please them
or not displease them.
If you lie and are found out
the best thing to do is to
create another lie that would
be a reason why you wouldn't
have wanted to tell them.

Poem

Dying,
Falling from the sky.
Always and forever,
back to recreation.
Parachute Open
and the flash has gone;
That's what it feels like
before nothing...
Floating,
on a pool of Pellegrino
gone flat: but the smell
tastes of waste: Oh Luxury!
But I want evian tomorrow.
What will I want after that?
Its never enough,
said the stockbroker,
his wife recounting their
daughter's latest shopping spree
on their credit card:
consumerism is HIV,
it only turns to aids
when you get into debt.
Money always burns
a hole in the pocket,
pick a joke: and through
that pocket man feels cocky,
probably pride, achievement,
money: he must have reasons,
or else he is so daft,
he has never seen himself
for who he is, but has
always let his appearance show
who he sees himself to be:
the briefcase must be full
or you really should be
put down - but I believe
in unconditional forgiveness:
fakers are lying in action:
is this punishable? Worse than
drug dealers.

Friday night and the city is jumping
lights are glaring,
meat markets full of sweaty
hogs looking to find drunken
hence willing attractives
to ravage for 5-10
before passing out
wasting a little piece of rubber
because the bond of trust has not
yet been established.

I lay back into my chair,
realize I sat on Lacan,
light up my pipe,
think about being
straightforward
and simple enough
to convey my messages
to everyone, yet
I also think
about what I don't want
to make clear, what
I don't want others to know...
Most of these I have tried
to forget
some I will never remember,
but remembering those that
I do will
give me pleasure:
By then I will have forgotten
that I didn't want to tell anyone:
I just forgot what I was going to write.

Escape Suffering - Find Inner Peace

Why do we suffer? They (Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, the Buddhists) say that it is inherent in our nature, in our very being. But this doesn't explain it. I say its because we EXPECT, all the time, what the future will be like, and when it doesn't reach our expectations we are dissappointed. We also don't plan in our schedule for accidents, or presume that the worst will happen: here it is: presume the worst will happen and you will not want to live to experience it, presume the best to happen and you will be gravely dissappointed when it doesn't work out like you thought it would. Either way you suffer, unless you were to not expect, predict, anticipate anything about the future and just let whatever happens happen, focusing on the present; laugh or think that at a later time you will laugh at the bad things (great stories to tell) and don't be excessively happy with the good, but be content with the normal.



If you believe you have completed the task you were meant to do, already fulfilled your purpose, you can live in a peace free from the will's wanting to achieve or attain more and more while it really wants what it cannot attain: one who does not know ones purpose or believes he/she has none strives throughout life to achieve and this achievement is petty fleeting satisfaction. Believe you have a purpose, find what it is, and achieve it, then relax in the bliss of having fulfilled the reason you are here, the meaning for your being, or you will always be dissatisfied and a puppet the will molests. Keep on living for every new day, knowing you have fulfilled your purpose, gets better and better. Some times you will need to try hard to fulfill your purpose, sometimes it will take a lifetime, but it will be fulfilled at some stage; sometimes just bringing another into the world is a purpose, for that one may have a greater purpose that you have made possible. There is a peace in feeling, thinking, knowing that you have fulfilled your purpose, and for this we live.

Why I won't throw myself over the balcony

When I think of the world spinning
I get dizzy.
I feel like jumping off
into suspended space; like
when I'm on a balcony
high in the sky: I feel
I can't control myself;
my want to not be here anymore
could take over my love of life
and make me rearrange my fate,
the only way to go.
Hope and love save me,
hope for love,
love of hope for love,
but maybe more: just
thinking that it will
come to an end eventually,
and I want to see
what tommorrow brings,
good or bad all the same,
its still better than nothing.
If we live for the great moments
we will always be dissatisfied;
live to learn something new,
simply to experience something new,
to enjoy the fresh air
and the mail in the mailbox,
even if its junk, to enjoy
waiting - in traffic no less -
to enjoy the mundane yet changing
everyday normality of being,
simply because you are alive
and part of it and for what
it is, something rather than
nothing: learn to laugh at
what you would normally
worry about, what would
normally make you angry:
it doesn't matter, what
happens happens, and
you can't presume to think
you can change what's meant to be.
Never regret, the world is not
worthy of it! What you did
you can't take back so
look forward and you can live
your life so you won't feel like
regreting anything. We must
concentrate on the future
becoming the past, the present
where life takes place.

The unknowable ground

Why? You'll see. How? It'll just come. From where? From this lunatic star searcher.
For what? Is there ever any purpose? Yes, but that its possibly false is what you're getting at, an illusion, why be so negative? This is very positive. How come? You'll see, we are finally free.

I don't know. Or, the child asks why to everything and at some point you'll just have to say "thats just the way it is", because you don't know the answer to the question, you don't know the deeper explanation the child wants: even the philosopher cannot satisfy the child's questioning unless he were to say: the ground is groundless, my son. Or, at some point, the first entrance to the path towards the godhead, the child enquires about what we cannot know, wanting to know it, and is disappointed at not being able to know the answers: we want what we can't have and we want to know precisely what we cannot know: the devils trick was pulled on humankind: its not like a car that our parents say we'll never be able to afford, for there is still a possibility of attaining this; what we cannot know we cannot know, it has been held back from us forever, we can delve closer and closer towards it by figuring out things that can be known (but then can we make the unknowable knowable?) that surround it or cover it but we can never truly know the unknowable: an asymptotic curve. An example: we can never truly differentiate species unless we were to try to breed them and find out they can't breed. What is presupposed is the biological species differenciation concept that members of different species are not capable (or willing) of breeding (due to differences in the reproductive organs) or cannot produce fertile offspring: a donkey and a horse can mate but their offspring, a mule, is sterile. We can speculate about whether homo erectus, our ancestors, were actually a different species to us today, but we will never know unless we were to try to breed them: this was a bad example but at some level our questions lead us to dead ends, a roundabout called the unknowable.

The unknowable will remain forever unknowable, as the endless end, unless it were to become known, it which case it wouldn't have been the unknowable in the first place.

Submission

Can I create you more than you create me?
Or, can I influence, persuade you to
listen to me when I speak without
interruption: let me talk to you.
Basically, whoever talks more exerts
more of an influence.
In this talking there is projection.
In this listening there is succombing.
People want to project and overcome,
or to be right,
which doesn't need truculence
like projection does:
but we do not ask which is more ethical
and which is more concealing,
concealment giving power through mystery:
no one likes to be overcome,
but someone has to do it,
although people expect one to always
overcome and project while, at least
I believe, one should submit
most of the time, although when
a conversation arises,
something you would like them to know
should be said, even if it involves overcoming,
but remember, as they will, they will
use it against you.

Annihilating Idols (volume one)

Put others ahead of yourself:
you have to have already helped yourself
before others will help you,
before you can truly help others;
to put yourself in a position
to disregard personal survival,
to be able to aid others' survival,
you had to have achieved said position
at the others expense: for me to have money
means that someone else does not have this money.
Helping others is therefore contradictory,
unless the other is paying you for your help,
which puts your survival ahead of others';
or you're helping others to help yourself,
to feel good about yourself(compared to those
who need help) or even to feel good simply
for helping, in which case, in the end,
you come first. We may never really put
others in front of ourselves outside
of self sacrifice, in which case we may still
retain hope for glory, remembrance, honor.

People will disagree and claim that we can and do put others before ourselves, but if we were to have always done this we would not have been able to do this: for ones survival one must, at some point, put oneself above an other or others until, after a point, when one is relatively secure, one can put others ahead of oneself: but why do we do this? This is what a just, moral, free society relies upon: concern for each others well being to the extent, in some cases if not most, that one cares less for oneself than for these others, even those who the one does not know: do we do this because we feel good about ourselves for this, because society requires it, or because we feel so bad about ourselves? There just may be another reason...Search that noggin little demons!

Abandoning Assimilation

Why do we need to rhyme to be heard?
Can't we just speak poetry,
the way it escapes the depths of our being,
in whatever order the words flow,
experiences beckoning the Gods, stealing
from the godhead what it doesn't want
to reveal - and revealing what should stay
in silence: those who should be procreating
are those who don't want to, those who shouldn't,
those who believe purpose is found in children,
are those who overpopulate the globe:
evolution by natural selection: not with
resentiment, not with christian ideals;
we become more and more diverse,
yet needs cause us to assimilate:
we can never abandon the herd
in reality, while in spirit,
perhaps eventually, abandonment will
become the norm, and will cancel itself out:
for if we all were to abandon,
becoming individuals, we would all be
individuals and abandonment would
soon need to abandon even this: it would
be impossible to head home to assimilation,
which would be abandonment and the individual,
but the individual itself would need to be negated:
Soon we will need to abandon even this negation:
can we revert back at any stage without contradiction?
Perhaps we can jump two stages back and start again.
Once one becomes the norm and a new abandonment is taught
that new abandonment becomes the norm and must be abandoned:
is this progress? or do we in fact never leave the first stage?
Or do we end up back at the first stage, abandoning abandonment?

The beauty of the world and the truth about creation

Something can only become from something else
Creation can only come from destruction

Before something there must have been nothing: the greatest and most taken for granted fallacy that society, culture, tradition, civilisation, all cults basically, have taken from the Bible, which we no longer believe to be fact but only myth, and have implanted in us, indoctrinated in us, this belief that shapes all our other beliefs: we must believe in some form of beginning, some idea of creation, in order to say or mean anything. That we still hold true and dear to us the idea of creation ex nihilo (from nothing to something) accordingly as the bible dictates, is astounding: this is why we cannot explain creation: because we believe there had to have been a creation, something from nothing. Now, Creationists believe that the world was created by God 6000 years ago in 7 days. Many also believe that God, here deemed that which we cannot know, created the universe at the beginning of time, allowing for evolution: a good answer that is not really an answer. Aristotle said, as does Heidegger, that the universe has always already been here, that there was no creation ex nihilo but that there was always something: this, I would like to take further by saying that there does not need to have been nothing before something, but that what may have been, surely something, need not have been by any means large. The smallest atom could have always been, but then you ask "where did that atom come from?" and I can only reply that it did not have to come from anywhere, which seems like a cop out, so long as you still proscribe to creation ex nihilo. This shows that we can never answer this question so long as we believe something must have come from nothing. Nevertheless we can put forward theories the best of which attests to the fallacy of creation ex nihilo: the most popular theory is of the Big Bang whereby the reaction of certain molecules (in the nothing), the origin of which we can never know, after becoming so compressed reacted creating space ever expanding. But this still attests to my thesis that nothing doesn't have to come before something, something could just always be there. Then the tragic truth must come out: for anything to be created something must be destroyed: to build a house the previous building standing on the spot must be demolished; destruction and creation go together: even if destruction means simply destroying the previous form of something by shaping it into a sword, for instance. For me to create something novel, this theory for instance, I had to destroy the previous theory: something can only become from nothing. Now something can only become from something else: you cannot make nothing into a spoon or a guitar, something must have always been for a greater something to have become from it. The destruction of atoms was necessary for the creation of the universe: something was already there. Perhaps the prior nothing in which these atoms subsisted is preserved outside the bounds of the ever expanding. But there were always atoms, there was always already something, that had to have been destroyed for the universe to be created.

Reason and Purpose, then, On the potential impossibility of knowing the unknowable

To want nothingness to
not to not want:
a fickle fleeting
purpose that floats
above the
that's just the way it is,
for no reason:
purpose with no reason,
will this satisfy?
Wouldn't we rather have
reason with no purpose?
Science remains theoretical:
reason can have no reasons,
that's just the way it is.

Reason wants to find
a reason for itself, or,
it seeks the unfathomable,
in fact, irrational:
to comprehend the
incomprehensible, or,
to know God, is
thinking's end.

Whether we like it or not, all enquiry, investigation, due to curiosity, leads us towards an answer, eventually, that is unfathomable: an answer that we will never be able to know is the answer that we want to know; but perhaps there is no answer, only searching, drawing from nothingness, making comprehensible, or trying to, what was previously beyond our ability to comprehend: improvement or decline?
As far as we can question we arrive at more questions, or something unknowable.
Perhaps we can never make comprehensible the incomprehensible; the unknown remains distant in the abyss unreachable by the hand that would bring it home to the known.

The Warrior

Anti-Consequentialist
Means as Ends

There is no freedom, peace, territory to be won, but only a war to be fought. When you are thrown into war the reason you are fighting torments you for it is never worth the fighting: the warrior does not think of the reasons but fights to fight, does not care for the outcome, but believes himself to only be himself when fighting. There is no doer but only deed, which is the doer: fighting is the warrior. We transform outselves into warriors in our own lives against the suffering and pain inherent in human nature by seeing our actions as ourselves, by fighting for the sake of the fighting and not for the outcome or goal we are fighting for: we should be fighting for fighting's sake: it is the process that we need to enjoy if we are to overcome misery, despair, depression, and not the attainment of the goal, a fleeting pleasure that was worked so hard for: without the means as end, fighting for fighting's sake, enjoying the process and not the attainment of the goal, we will never enjoy our lives. Unlock the warrior in yourself and release the key to happiness.