Why I won't throw myself over the balcony

When I think of the world spinning
I get dizzy.
I feel like jumping off
into suspended space; like
when I'm on a balcony
high in the sky: I feel
I can't control myself;
my want to not be here anymore
could take over my love of life
and make me rearrange my fate,
the only way to go.
Hope and love save me,
hope for love,
love of hope for love,
but maybe more: just
thinking that it will
come to an end eventually,
and I want to see
what tommorrow brings,
good or bad all the same,
its still better than nothing.
If we live for the great moments
we will always be dissatisfied;
live to learn something new,
simply to experience something new,
to enjoy the fresh air
and the mail in the mailbox,
even if its junk, to enjoy
waiting - in traffic no less -
to enjoy the mundane yet changing
everyday normality of being,
simply because you are alive
and part of it and for what
it is, something rather than
nothing: learn to laugh at
what you would normally
worry about, what would
normally make you angry:
it doesn't matter, what
happens happens, and
you can't presume to think
you can change what's meant to be.
Never regret, the world is not
worthy of it! What you did
you can't take back so
look forward and you can live
your life so you won't feel like
regreting anything. We must
concentrate on the future
becoming the past, the present
where life takes place.