One more for the road

No road, but having 50 posts even was irritating. So, generation and corruption are the same thing or neither exist but a medium between the two, or both these options or neither of the two. This site contains the truth about the truth, although the tired poem that follows is meant to be a deterrant so that readers will think this site is crap written by a pretentious faker who tricks the reader into believing his work is the truth about reality and the reality of existence whereas in fact it simply appears to be deep, novel and genius while it is actually persuasive confused nonsense. But should we value sense over nonsense, organized over confused? I don't think it really matters: i'll always take an amusing lie over the harsh truth. Lesson complete.

Tired and waiting
for a space to clear
in the distant horizon.
Listening to the
sleeping dogs snore.
Dry, peeling like a snake,
throat rejects liquids
and solids. Body wants
to starve, brain is
indifferent: in an
abstract world
replacing suffering
with patience.
Hands gone numb,
feet gone numb,
leg incessantly shaking.
Becoming impatient,
but there's no point
to suicide.
People at work, me
alone with nothing to do
not bored not wanting
creating bliss.

The beginning of the end - the end of the beginning

whatever comes out goes onto the page with no punctuation stream of consciousness writing thinking feeling breathing doing something what writing in need of punctuation to not seem silly and I begin again to never end the beginning - progress - or never begin the end - decline - and so we remain in a world of grey matter squashed between the apparent but illusory realities of good and bad, growth and decay, generation and corruption, neither side winning the fiercest battle in history; although if one is the other and the other is the one there is no longer room for the grey area pillow where we were previously content to rest our tiny but powerful heads. But now the grey area shifts to the space between whether the two opposites are one or whether the pillow between the opposites remains. Can we then say that these two can be one leaving a further grey area with its opposition? Will this continue forever in some way or another?

So I have come to the conclusion of this blog site by convincing myself that either generation and corruption do not exist for what exists is the grey area between the two, both growing and decaying at the same time, or that, due to this or even separately, both are one: in the same act, motion, thought, circumstance, happening both are occuring simultaneously with the movement of time. We neither progress nor decline for both are one or neither exist but the medium between the two.

Although the individual cannot get better unless having had more time means getting better and time does not necessarily mean improvement unless all experience is good experience in which case with an increase in the amount of experience we gain we become better adapted, mentally, or simply improved. But this all ends when we die and our children must go through the same again to no avail with no improvement to humanity.

And God fell to his knees and said to man: "You created me to help you. Now I am finally demolished. You are on your own to continue purposeless, moralless, hopeless, knowing only that the same dull round shall be repeated endlessly, and all this, for nothing."

A little bit of sense

Honesty, I do but why?
Honor, respect, trust:
if they'll never discover
and you keep it up
and remember who and what:
it can only help.

I feel - the first time I've written on the blog about how I feel - displaced, neglected, I must make people interested and keep them so, what a hassle! I can't give too much, overwhelming, only a little at a time. But I give so much so quickly and then run out of insight and they get bored and begin to get bored with everyone. Tonight I said again: "I'm tired of the truth". He won't even fully understand it, he understands what the game is, but has not come to understand himself: I guess we can never fully come to understand ourselves but we must at least attempt to and struggle with this to understand others, life, and being for we are all we can know of existence. Truculence must be restrained or else everyone will go insane from having come to realize too much: and even when I try to avoid knowing knowing we cannot know that we know anything but this, possibly that I am, I still presuppose that there is an underlying reality to existence! I feel gone. Full submission so as to not reveal the secrets that must not be revealed: as Kipling said "If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools".

The essence of Truth

Rafatiki ran up the mountain to: A. see the beautiful view B. feel the gratification of accomplishment C. lose weight D. feel the pleasure given by the stimulated endorphins E. get to school F. Something other than the above...

Where did he find the nourishment to provide the energy for this run?
Food no doubt, but from whence came this food?
As aid from the US or the UN. Still further,
from farmers paid by the government who plow
the fields in nebraska; from a seed, from
another previously existing plant, repeat
until "only God knows" or evolution
by some means of which we cannot be certain:

the point has now been obviously expressed: the whence of each thing carries back to an origin that cannot be explained with certainty: the regressive method of questioning is as futile as trying to say what a thing is: all essence is simply the appearance of a more fundamental essence.

Did I get sidetracked from trying to appear insane while concealing a meaning deeper than the ocean floor, I could even say the earths core? These two issues are intimately bound up with each other, the first being that the answer to the first question, which I didn't even put as an option, for if you have read all of my blogs you should know, is G. All of the above, for truth cannot only be one opinion or one side of the argument but must be the combination of all of them.

So I end this lesson on truth and essence with a fullstop.

Win, lose, or draw

Don't let anything by you,
embarass yourself,
or submit forever, means
to always be acute,
never distracted from focus;
to never lose - wit.

But to stick up for oneself,
ones opinions, is this wrong?
Do people prefer those who
put up a good fight and lose
to those who don't even fight
and just submit?
Or those who win?
I guess it depends on the person:
the domineering prefer the second,
the ones who enjoy a good argument,
the first, and the docile, the last.

Can you appear submissive by agreeing with whatever is said while all the while concealing your own viewpoint that would win the argument? But an urge is felt to overcome and reveal, although after this brief moment of pleasure regret takes over. Or would you forget your own opinion and begin to believe the other opinion? Wouldn't you end up appearing indifferent rather than docile while the other can so obviously tell that you are refusing to speak for a reason, or that you are trying to conceal what you believe? If you haven't read my other writings, is it better to win and lose your strong argument to another who can use it than to lose concealing the truth? Is it more moral to win or to lose? Losing can sometimes please the other and winning can sometimes please the other, it depends on the person, but choosing the wrong one can have devastating consequences: you decide. A draw tends to be the most upsetting: agree to disagree. This could go on forever, there's just something so interesting about argument!