The beginning of the end - the end of the beginning

whatever comes out goes onto the page with no punctuation stream of consciousness writing thinking feeling breathing doing something what writing in need of punctuation to not seem silly and I begin again to never end the beginning - progress - or never begin the end - decline - and so we remain in a world of grey matter squashed between the apparent but illusory realities of good and bad, growth and decay, generation and corruption, neither side winning the fiercest battle in history; although if one is the other and the other is the one there is no longer room for the grey area pillow where we were previously content to rest our tiny but powerful heads. But now the grey area shifts to the space between whether the two opposites are one or whether the pillow between the opposites remains. Can we then say that these two can be one leaving a further grey area with its opposition? Will this continue forever in some way or another?

So I have come to the conclusion of this blog site by convincing myself that either generation and corruption do not exist for what exists is the grey area between the two, both growing and decaying at the same time, or that, due to this or even separately, both are one: in the same act, motion, thought, circumstance, happening both are occuring simultaneously with the movement of time. We neither progress nor decline for both are one or neither exist but the medium between the two.

Although the individual cannot get better unless having had more time means getting better and time does not necessarily mean improvement unless all experience is good experience in which case with an increase in the amount of experience we gain we become better adapted, mentally, or simply improved. But this all ends when we die and our children must go through the same again to no avail with no improvement to humanity.

And God fell to his knees and said to man: "You created me to help you. Now I am finally demolished. You are on your own to continue purposeless, moralless, hopeless, knowing only that the same dull round shall be repeated endlessly, and all this, for nothing."